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Jul. 26th, 2017 05:53 pmMade a Facebook event for my birthday and hardly anyone has responded. I'm dying slowly inside. The last time I had a birthday party (several years ago) I got so anxious that I drank myself into a stupor and cried in my closet for three hours.
Just another reason not to drink.
Anyway, I know that social events (and social rejection) spike my anxiety through the roof, so good for me for even taking the initiative to try to put something together. Even though it makes me question whether anyone likes me. ESPECIALLY because it makes me question whether anyone likes me.
Also, you know, not drinking. That's also progress.
Sigh.
If I had a CBT therapist, they'd tell me that people not coming to my birthday doesn't mean they don't care about me, and to challenge that belief. To acknowledge that many of my friends are introverts, or that they don't have the money, or that they already have other plans or obligations for that day. And I kind of have to be my own therapist now. So. I'm trying.
My biggest fear: being unlovable. No doubt in my mind. Might as well face that demon.
Just another reason not to drink.
Anyway, I know that social events (and social rejection) spike my anxiety through the roof, so good for me for even taking the initiative to try to put something together. Even though it makes me question whether anyone likes me. ESPECIALLY because it makes me question whether anyone likes me.
Also, you know, not drinking. That's also progress.
Sigh.
If I had a CBT therapist, they'd tell me that people not coming to my birthday doesn't mean they don't care about me, and to challenge that belief. To acknowledge that many of my friends are introverts, or that they don't have the money, or that they already have other plans or obligations for that day. And I kind of have to be my own therapist now. So. I'm trying.
My biggest fear: being unlovable. No doubt in my mind. Might as well face that demon.
