(no subject)

I have now declared myself the Supreme Makeout Queen of the Universe. Because, somehow, that makes me feel cool.

You know what I realize? All I really want is to be included. To be loved. Just like everyone else. Whenever anybody makes an effort to include me, I become incredibly happy--even if I don't show it very well. Like when Elizabeth smiled at me and said "hey, join us!" So much nicer than Brad's "mutter mutter I'm sitting here and I know we're supposed to work together but I'd rather not so let's just work seperately". Man, that one hurt. And I always liked him well enough, too. But I guess I should make more effort to make myself involved instead of waiting for people to welcome me in.

Today was the blindfold thing in Psych--hilarious. I bumped into so many people--students and teachers alike. Rammed right into Mr. Mason and he said, "Katie! Hi" after I was done apologizing. And I said "er... I ... I'm not sure who you are, though I kinda recognize the voice ... " He laughed. "It's me, Mr. Mason!" Yeah. Anyway. And I rammed into some chair with somebody sitting in it in the guidance office. She screamed. I laughed hysterically. And I must say I'm must less shy when I can't see a thing: "HEY, IS THERE ANYBODY HERE IN THE FRONT FOYER? YEAH? OKAY, CAN YOU TELL ME SOMEBODY'S NAME ON THE HALL OF FAME THING HERE? ... Thanks!"

And the floor buffer guy honked his horn at me and I just about had a heart attack. And I couldn't help but laugh hysterically at Geoff, who managed to walk into a ton of lunch tables. And trip over them. Repeatedly. I thought I was going to die, I was laughing so hard.

Speaking of which, I didn't write about what was REALLY hilarious yesterday.

So we're picking partners for the blindfold thing. O'Brien asks Geoff, "Hey, who's your partner?"

Geoff immediately says, "Katie." I shoot him a strange look, since he hasn't mentioned anything of the sort to me.

O'Brien sees it. "Oh, come on! You two are PARTNERS. You have to be together, come together as a UNION."

So of course, Geoff being the smart-aleck he is, leans over, puts his hand on my shoulder, looks deep into my eyes and says, very seriously, "Don't worry, Katie. Our children will be beautiful."

Silence. And then, me, very red in the face: "WHAT?"

The class explodes. I explode. Geoff flushes deep red. O'Brien says, "Hey, look, they blush! Though there's not really a need to be embarrassed ... "

When the hilarity has died down a little and after I stop choking, I turn to him and say, "I'm sorry to disappoint you, Geoff, but I'm kind of already taken ... "

The class explodes again.

See, it's stuff like that that makes me happy. Just being part.

Ha, but it was funny in Bio today, because since it's all girls and Mr. Ong was out of the room, of course they were all gossiping about guys, and somebody brought up Aaron, and they're all like "You know, he's really nice! I like him now. Why didn't I ever see what a great guy he was, hey I'd totally go with him to prom blah blah blah"

And there I am in the back of the room, shaking my head, thinking "See? I knew it. Only I knew it a year before all you did. I was right all along." I'm not really sure why, but it made me happy. Whether because I was right or because they're finally seeing it, I don't know. I was happy about it, even though when they were discussing prom I tried to bring him up. But since when do they ever listen to me? Oh well.

Off to draw some anime stuff. Tomorrow, NHS; Friday or Saturday, Sarah. I love how her face lights up whenever she sees me--she never used to smile like that. She's one of those people you can write stories about. She just has something about her.

Done blathering. But you know what? I'm going to try to get some sleep tonight. Maybe then I'll be happier. Could just be overtiredness--that's what landed me in the nurse's office, after all. Could be that's what makes me so unhappy. Hard to appreciate the world when all you want to do is curl up and escape it through sleep.